I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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