i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
