I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
