I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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