you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
