How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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