If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
