I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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