Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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