and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
