it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
