Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
