I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
