Tell her she can't have a vagina
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
