Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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