I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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