literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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