I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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