Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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