Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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