just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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