You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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