I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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