I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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