My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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