He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Someone signed my nipple.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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