Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
