I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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