she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Even my vagina gasped.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
