There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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