my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
