she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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