what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
false alarm, still single
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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