you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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