Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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