is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
