He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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