My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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