We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
