I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
