i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
