Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
