I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
