I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
