I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
