Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
