do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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