if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
