Pappa wants mamma naked
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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