I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
