sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
do nipples grow back?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
